We are at critical mass when it comes to zombies in pop culture and we have a fair share of creepy kids in horror flicks. Rarely do we get to see them come together as pint sized flesh eating little shits. But that’s exactly what we get from the new flick Cooties starring Elijah Wood along with a great supporting cast.

You’ll never look at chicken nuggets the same way again after Cooties. Brought to us by Spectrevision it is comprised of a fantastic cast that includes Rainn Wilson, Leigh Whannel, Jack McBriar, Alison Pill, Nassir Padrim, and Elijah Wood.

In the opening scene we see some of Elijah Wood’s personality infused into the film. As the camera pans the room at his parents house where he still lives we see toys and collectibles along with a childhood photo of himself. Wood plays Clint, a struggling writer who never quite hit his stride. To keep his momentum and bank account afloat toward his lifelong goal he takes on a teaching job at a local elementary school. After a brutally honest review from his mother about the book he is trying to write, Clint makes his way his first day of school.


Right off the bat you can see that humor is going to play a big part in the film which is pretty obvious by the wonderful cast. They also set the tone pretty quickly that kids these days are a bunch of assholes. And who do we want to see die in horror movies more often than not? The assholes.

We also get a love triangle between Clint, Lucy (Alison Pill) and Wade (Rainn Wilson.) Wilson plays a redneck, truck driving, self-proclaimed badass that also “teaches” gym. In other words, he’s kind of an asshole. Remember what I said about assholes?

As the relationships build throughout the film each character plays a very specific role to the chemistry of the group. None of them are just there for the sake of having a known name attached to their character. They all contribute, and when the shit hits the fan you find yourself rooting for them.


When the teachers realize maybe the kids are acting a little worse than usual they put 2 + 2 together and realize it equals Z, as in Zombies. They way the introduce the virus is also somewhat subtle then it dives straight into complete choas. They are fast, the right size to actually be called ankle biters and won’t think twice about eating their peers alive. The primal screams from the zombie children feel like nails on a chalkboard that are being eaten finger by finger by blood-lust brain eating children.

The film is clever, both in the dialogue and the story it tells. Or as clever it can be for a zombie flick. A good example of this is when we see a slow-mo shot of the horror unfolding on the playground. They re-imagine how playground games can be played using random body parts of their victims. Gruesome, yes. Funny, absolutely. Spectrevision continues to produce top notch lower budget horror films and Cooties is no different. Cooties gets an A+ on their grade card for the perfect mix of gore and humor.

“Naptime Motherfuckers” – Wade


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