Josh Gordon loves shiny rims and automatic locks. Who doesn’t? So much so that he decided to take the year off from football and leave the Cleveland Browns to go work at Fun Town Auto!
The NFL’s leading receiver in 2013 is going to spend the 2014 season working in the Cleveland area as a car salesmen. This comes after the NFL upheld Josh Gordon’s yearlong suspension last week for repeated positive drug tests. This report was confirmed by ESPN’s Josina Anderson who is getting all the hot goss stories lately. Including which Rams players were taking showers with ex-teammate Michael Sam. Tom Rather would be rolling over in his grave at this kind of kind of news reporting.
The tradegy here isn’t that Josh Gordon has to work at a Used Car lot. It’s the fact that he got suspended a year for weed when Ray Rice still only got 6 games for knocking his girlfriend (now wife) out on camera then dragging her down the hallway. Sure, it was Gordon’s second strike regarding the use of illegal substance. But that same substance is actually legal in 2 states. Last I heard knocking your wife out wasn’t legal in any states. Except, MAYBE New Jersey and even then it is frowned upon.
In any case, I can only imagine the sports puns that will be used in the car lot’s commercials. We’ve all heard them before. You’ll hit a HOMERUN with these deals! You don’t have to GO DEEP into your pocket books to afford a nice Ford Fusion, hell you don’t need to wear pants at all because these deals will make you feel like we just had our way with you and afterwards you’ll need a shower. You know those kind of puns. Now that they have an actual athlete working for them it is bound to get worse from here on out.
Until then lets just relive this Fun Town Auto commercial and throw in a F&%$ You Baltimore for good measure.
Warning, shit gets real, you probably don’t want to watch it at work.